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Map Of Australia

Map of Australia

Australia - the lucky country

Australia is the world's smallest continent between the Indian Ocean and the South Pacific Ocean, and also the most beautiful country in the whole world! Australians call their motherland "the lucky country"

Australia has been inhabited for over 40,000 years by Indigenous Australians (Aboriginals). European discovery of Australia was made by Dutch navigators but most people think it was Captain James Cook who discovered it in 1770. Australia was settled as the British penal colony of New South Wales on 26 January 1788. As the new areas were explored, another five colonies were established in the 19th century.

On 1 January 1901, the six colonies federated and the Commonwealth of Australia was formed. Colonies became states, and soon new nation capital Canberra was built. The current Australian population of around 20.4 million is concentrated mainly in the large coastal cities of Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Adelaide.

Jokes and stereotypes

Australians love to tell jokes, some of them comes out of rivalry between states, and especially between Sydney and Melbourne. What you will find below are jokes, and I hope nobody will be offended! However, as we all know there is always some truth in any joke.

New South Wales (NSW) - Sydney

Sydney Opera House
Sydney Opera House
New South Wales (NSW) is Australia's oldest state. Its capital Sydney (population: 4.3 million) is the most beautiful city in Australia. The Harbour Bridge and Opera House became symbols of Australia.
Sydney is the business and financial capital of Australia. Most of companies and banks have their headquarters in Sydney, creating excellent job opportunities.
More about Sydney

Jokes and stereotypes

They’re all bloody pufters!
It’s a joke but reality is Sydney is the second gay capital in the world, after San Francisco. In Sydney, there is a famous annual gay and lesbian parade -Mardi Gras festival (www.mardigras.org.au).

Everything is so expensive in Sydney!
It largely true about residential property. Sydney is the only Australian city where many residents can’t afford to buy a stand-alone house and live in apartment instead.
Apart from property, cost of living is similar to other cities, with certain exceptions, such as road tolls and parking costs.
Some people assume high costs are compensated by better salaries. This can be partially true for some occupations, but not for other.

Victoria (VIC) - Melbourne

Melbourne
Melbourne
Victoria (VIC) is Australian state build on gold rush. Its capital Melbourne (population: 3.6 million) was selected twice as the world's "most liveable city" - good climate(many Australians will disagree), low crime, friendly people.
Melbourne is considered capital of culture, sport and fashion. The most famous competitions in Melbourne are tennis championship Australian Open, Formula 1 car races, and horse races - Melbourne Cup.
Common opinion is Melbourne has the best fashion shops in Australia.
More about Melbourne

Jokes and stereotypes

Melbourne Weather sucks!
There are millions of jokes about Melbourne weather, here is the popular one: if you don’t like Melbourne’s weather, wait half an hour, it will change. Another one: in Melbourne, you can have 4 seasons in one day. Another one: in Melbourne, they build all the theatres and museums simply to hide from the rain.
Most people agree: weather in Melbourne is not as good as in other Australian cities. Melbourne believed to be always cloudy, rainy, and cold. If that’s not enough, the weather is changing several times a day, from sunshine to pouring rain.
In fact, Melbourne has less sunny days than Sydney, but it also receives less rainfall. Average air and water temperature is lower in Melbourne.

There is no ocean or beaches in Melbourne.
Melbourne is situated on the huge Port Phillip Bay. Beaches in proximity of the city (St Kilda, Brighton etc) are not the ocean beaches. You can not surf there, because there is no waves. But they’re fine for swimming.
If you want proper ocean beach for surfing, it’s about 1.5-2 hours drive from Melbourne city (Sorrento, Torquay).

Victorians are Mexicans!
This joke comes from Sydney. It based on Victoria shape and location is somehow similar to shape and location of Mexico on North-American map. Obviously, with this comparison NSW people put themselves where USA is.

Australian Capital Territory (ACT) - Canberra

Flag on Australian Parliament
Flag on Australian Parliament
The Australian Capital Territory (ACT) is an Australian territory which includes Canberra - capital of Australia. The ACT is wholly surrounded by the state of New South Wales.
Canberra is famous as "planned and artificial" city, there are lots of parks and museums here.
Apparently, there are no traffic jams in Canberra!
Canberra is the capital, so here you will find the Australian parliament, government organisations and embassies of the foreign countries .
More about Canberra

Jokes and stereotypes

Canberra believed to have more prostitutes than any other Australian city, probably because lots of gentleman visits Canberra for a job, without family.

Queensland (QLD) - Brisbane

Gold Coast
Gold Coast
Subtropical and tropical climate, endless beaches, Great Barrier Reef, crocodiles and relaxed Australian culture in it's best. "Where else but Queensland".
More about Queensland:
Brisbane
Gold Coast
Sunshine Coast
Great Barrier Reef
Crocodiles
Butterflies and Birds in QLD

Jokes and stereotypes

Mate, ute and dog
Stereotype image of the “working mate”, wearing thongs and old t-shirt, with can of XXXX beer, and the dog in the ute – certainly comes from Queensland.
Queensland perceived to be “relaxed”, and sometimes it means “backwarded”. My previous company used to have a Brisbane office – in summer, at 4PM no one picked up the phone, not even a secretary! They certainly had a good life there, until the office has been finally shut down by management.
Queenslanders are Banana benders!
This is probably just a rhyming slang, but you can also see reference to laid-back Queensland residents, who are busy bending bananas. Queenslanders are actually proud to be Banana benders, since there are no bananas in cooler states.
One Nation
Another stereotype is Queenslanders are less welcoming for overseas migrants, some will even say they are racist. Queensland is a home of notorious “One Nation” party formed by Pauline Hanson. There are lots of jokes about racist, homophobic, anti-immigrant ideas proclaimed by this politician.

South Australia (SA) - Adelaide


Best wines in Australia (Barossa Valley), beautiful wilderness (Kangaroo Island, Flinders Ranges)
Adelaide
Kangaroo Island - Remarkable Rocks
Seals on Kangaroo Island
Wildlife on Kangaroo Island

Jokes and stereotypes

City of Churches
Number one stereotype is Adelaide is a sterile, boring place. Number two is there are no jobs in Adelaide. But, there are lots of churches here!

Adelaidians are the crow eaters
There is a crow, or precisely white-backed piping shrike (magpie) on Adelaide’s flag. Have you ever seed dead crow? Well, neither am I. So, all crows are eaten by Adelaidians!

City of Corpses
Serial murders in Snowtown makes some people say Adelaide changes it's name from "City of Churches" to "City of Corpses".

Tasmania (TAS) - Hobart

Map of Tasmania
Map of Tasmania
Joke about "Map of Tasmania" on a T-shirt
Joke about "Map of Tasmania" on a T-shirt
Wild corner of Australia with forests, spectacular coastline and rich heritage of old days.
Hobart - capital of Tasmania
Launceston
Port Arthur - the biggest prison in Tasmania from 1830 to 1877

Jokes and stereotypes

Many jokes that people from the small island of Tasmania are inbred (their parents are relatives), and they have two heads. "Watch out for people with scar on the shoulder"! (The scar is left after second head was removed).
Tasmania is often jokingly identified as "not part of Australia" by mainlanders.
Another joke is based on Tasmania shape. If you can’t figure out what "Map of Tasmania" looks like, ask any male from 18 to 99 what is it. You get the answer for sure!

Western Australia (WA) - Perth

Western Australia is huge - about 2.5 mln sq. km. There are deserts, awesome coast with surf breaks rivalling those in Hawaii. Perth is the most isolated city in the world, with fine food, great skyline and parks. WA is a home of fabulous Ningaloo reef which can easily rival Great Barrier Reef, but hardly known by anyone outside Australia.

Jokes and stereotypes

Remote Perth is located in different time zone, and time here is 3 hours behind Sydney. So, the joke goes: "Perth is 10 years and 3 hours behind Sydney"

Northern Territory (NT) - Darwin

Saltwater crocodile
Saltwater crocodile
Endless deserts, Alice Springs and the great "Red Rock", Uluru, crocodiles. Tropical capital Darwin (population: 97.000) was completely destroyed by Cyclone Tracy in 1974 but rebuild since then.
Life here is tough: Wet season, hot temperature, humidity, isolation, deadly jellyfish and crocodiles.

Jokes and stereotypes

They're all TROPPO!
In tropics, there are 2 seasons: dry season and wet season. As the heat and humidity builds towards the wet season, before the first big storm, people here go 'troppo' or crazy. This is the time of year when the women get bitchy and the blokes get into fights. It's also called mango madness, since it happens at the time the mangoes are ripening on the trees.
As wet season finally starts, many towns and localities are completely isolated from the mainland – no 4WD vehicle can get there, helicopter is the only transport. So what do the residents do? They keep themselves drunk – for all these months.
If you look on crime statistics, your chances of being murdered in NT are 4.5 times higher than in Victoria!
Some useful links about Australia:
Australia
Australian States and Territories
Melbourne

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